Surgery Update: 1 year today.

June 30 2009, at 10:30 am I was having a laproscopic gastric sleeve operation to help me loose weight.
I had started at 210KG 3 months before, and got down to 180KG on surgery day.
Its now 7 pm, and I would have been in recovery, with nurses and so forth freaking out because my blood pressure was too low.

I didnt know it, but I was leaking from my staples, and would spend the next 6 weeks in hospital, then a further 6 weeks waiting for them to remove stents from my stomach which were causing my much pain and discomfort.

I’ve learned many things in the last year, but one that I am getting my head around now is just how hard it is to not be able to eat. Depression, it seems, is very common post surgery, according to some surveys, because of the profound effect food has on people, and the inability to eat it causes mental stress.

See, an alcoholic doesnt depend on alcohol to fuel their body, they wont die with out it. But someone who cant eat anything, WILL die.. and the brain knows this.. its a primal self preservation thing. Thats not why people get fat though, there are a gazillion reasons for that. But the fact is, there is a point where there is no return.
These days, I can not eat, even if I want to. No matter how much I want a baconator, I cant eat one. I can sniff, but I can not eat. I can not.. no matter how much I want to.. cheat. I cant be like an alcoholic and have a drink.. I just cant.. it doesnt go in.. it cant happen.

This realisation takes awhile, and when it does sink in, its a very hard pill to swallow. Its hard to explain to someone who has not been through the same experience.

Anyway, the upshot is I am now 114kG, and feeling great (apart from a dislocated shoulder). I had sleep apnea, diabetes, hypertension, repeated cellulitis, and goodness knows what else was breaking. I couldnt get life insurance, couldnt fit in a normal size car, couldnt buy clothes, couldnt pee standing up, couldnt get a job, couldnt be a dad or a husband properly, couldnt look after my house, could hardly stand up. I was dead. Now I am alive again.
Anyone who says this surgery shouldnt be funded and available for those who need it should be lined up against the wall and shot. Because thats what they are doing to people they refuse to help.

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